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Book Review: Raising Them, Our Adventure in Gender Creative Parenting by Kyl Myers

Updated: Mar 20

Book Review: Raising Them is a memoir about raising a gender creative child - meaning that the parents in this book do not disclose their child's genital configuration / sex, nor do they assign a gender to their child.

book raising them, our adventure in gender creative parenting by kyl myers

The author shares a lot of anecdotes about experiences talking to others about gender creative parenting. They navigate talking to family, creepy friends of friends who demanded to see inside the diaper, and everything in between. Concrete examples of things you might say were very helpful.


For example, an acquaintance says to Kyl, unprompted, "I just want to snatch your baby and look in their diaper!" Knowing that you may have interactions like that in advance is helpful.


I also found the pregnancy and birth sections, which were about the baby being breech and navigating the medical system, to be poignant and resonant for probably any pregnant person who has had to relinquish some control in their birth.


The choice of gender "creative" parenting, as opposed to gender "neutral" parenting is an interesting one. For many people who acknowledge their child's sex, but refrain from assigning a gender, they are just trying to give their kiddo time and space to figure it out on their own. They aren't creating anything new. They aren't being creative. They are just trying to give their child a chance to decide what gender box they would like to be put in, regardless of the sex that they are assigned.

A big critique is that the cis author sort of acts like they invented this type of parenting. I believe that maybe they struggled to find resources on their journey. I don't believe that other queer folx didn't already have ideas and resources and community built around the topic of parenting and gender. Plus, I am just always suspicious when a white person isn't citing others...


Overall: 4/5⭐️ (would recommend)



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